In this article you will learn how to overcome shynessthe advantages and disadvantages of being shy, and how to know if you are.
Shyness is a very uncomfortable cell. Unfortunately, fears make us not want to get out of there.
The good news is that it is possible to go outside, and that outside, the possibilities are endless.
So before you learn how to overcome shynesswe must understand the basics.
What is shyness
Shyness is the feeling of apprehension and lack of comfort that a person feels around others. A shy person is usually just a bystander and afraid to be a part of the conversation.
It may be due to fear, lack of confidence, or both, but it is very difficult for them to verbally express what they think. And as a result, they go unnoticed.
Signs that indicate that you are shy.
Although there are different levels of shyness, these are some signs that you are you[email protected]:
- You avoid eye contact.
- You speak soft.
- You have idioms like touching your hair a lot.
- You are afraid of being judged.
- You have negative thoughts about yourself and the situations around you.
- It generates anxiety knowing that you will be with more people.
- You have low self-esteem.
- You get depressed easily.
We must remember that shyness is circumstantial. That is the first step to learn how to overcome shyness.
You can be shy around a girl you like, even a bit clumsy and quiet. But when you’re with your lifelong friends, you’re a totally different person.
This is the simplest proof that to a large extent, shyness depends on the context.
Now let’s see what are the disadvantages of being shy.
Disadvantages of being shy.
According to a study carried out by Philip Zimbardo, Paul Pilkonis and Robert Norwood, being shy has the following disadvantages:
- Create social problems.
- It brings negative emotions.
- It makes communication difficult.
- Limit the perception that others have of them.
- Creates difficulties to think clearly when other people are around.
- They give more value to what others think.
However, being shy is not the end of the world. In fact, it has many advantages.
Advantages of being shy
- They tend to create deeper friendships.
- They know how to listen correctly.
- They don’t get bored easily.
- They show themselves as more trustworthy and honest people.
- They think more before they act.
Although there are advantages, the idea is that you are not afraid to say what you think. This does not imply stop being who you are or change your personality.
It is simply adding a feature that will increase your chances of getting and taking advantage of better opportunities.
So let’s see, how to overcome shyness.
How to overcome shyness.
1. Understand that shyness is circumstantial.
Make sure you understand that you are not shy or insecure 24 hours a day. You just don’t feel comfortable in certain situations.
2. Identify the situations.
You already know that there are certain situations that bring out your shyness, so the next thing is to identify them. Make a list and be as specific as possible.
An example could be the following.
- Public speaking in front of co-workers.
- Ask people I don’t know to dance.
- Expose what I think when I don’t know much about the subject.
- Show my body on the beach.
3. Face those situations.
The dynamic is simple and I will explain it with the following example.
If you want bigger, toned arms, you need to work your biceps, triceps, and shoulders. The point is that after going to the gym you are tired. And the next day, your arms hurt a lot.
As you get into the habit of exercising, your arms will hurt less and less after exercising. The same goes for shyness.
If you want to learn how to overcome shyness, you must face it. And to do so you must take into account the following…
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4. Think you don’t need approval from others.
If you think that others should like you, you put yourself in a very uncomfortable situation. Since you submit that everything you say or do must be perfect; And it is not like that.
You just have to be you and not think that others are “rating” your behavior.
5. Remember that you are not worth less than others.
Many shy people tend to think that because they don’t feel confident speaking in front of a thousand people, they are worth less than someone who can. And as a result of that, they mentally flog themselves with thoughts like: “I’m not capable”, “others don’t like me”, “they’re going to hurt me”, etc.
This generates a vicious circle in which they increasingly lose confidence in themselves, and stop seeing their worth.
And finally, when they are in a situation that makes them uncomfortable, they give in to the thought of i’m not good enough for thisand consider themselves less than the others.
Remember that we are all important and worth the same. Get into the habit of thinking highly of yourself.
6. Think about the worst that could happen if you take a risk.
Usually, we stop doing something for fear of the consequences. (Many people are not bank robbers simply because they do not want to go to jail.)
The point is that we see the consequences much more serious than they really are.
For example when you are at a party and you are going to ask someone to dance. At that moment your hands sweat, your voice trembles; and the fear of rejection and ridicule prevents you from taking risks.
To learn how to overcome shynessyou have to imagine what would be the worst that could happen.
To continue with the example, think carefully about what would happen if that girl or boy tells you no…
…Or think what would happen if he makes fun of you for trying…
The answer is very simple: NOTHING HAPPENS.
I know that you may be thinking that there are more important situations, whose consequences are more relevant than a simple dance. And you are right.
So the next step is…
7. Reduce negative consequences through preparation.
As you have already identified the situations that exalt your shyness, you must prepare for each of them.
If it’s on your list not knowing how to speak in public In front of classmates, you can’t make the mistake of not studying.
If you go very well prepared, you are already eliminating from the equation the possibility of being made fun of for not knowing what you are doing; and get more nervous about it.
You can also make the presentation to your parents and friends, so they can give you feedback and improve.
Remember that it is not easy, but to the extent that you face more and more of those uncomfortable situations; they will become less and less uncomfortable.
8. Accept your shyness.
With this I do not mean that you accept that it is you[email protected]you get into your room and never come out again.
When you tell another person that you are shy, you will find support and that will make you feel much better.
9. Look into the eyes.
When you make eye contact, you show the other person that you have nothing to hide. This way the other person is more open with you and you make the whole situation much more comfortable.
10. Change your body language.
Appropriate body language will go a long way in helping you learn how to overcome shyness. Click here to find out how to do it.
Conclusion.
Learning how to overcome shyness is comparable to learning a new skill. It’s all a process.
Always keep in mind that you must take risks to realize that all those inner demons that make you shy are not so scary.
Also, you must challenge yourself. For example, asking strangers for the time or meeting a new person every day. Surely you will find people who do not want to socialize with you and that can make you feel bad and make you think that you are very bad for that.
But you will also find amazing people who will make you feel like you are conquering your fears by leaps and bounds.
I hope this information will be of great help to you 🙂
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