To know how to say no It is one of the most important skills we must learn.
People who say YES to everything are usually extremely complacent and that is directly attacking your success. I’m not suggesting that you should always say NO to everything you’re told; I am suggesting that you learn how to say no in a positive way.
“NO” is one of the key words that you must learn how to say, but it is not the only one. If you want to know more incredibly useful words, click here.
Why it is important to learn how to say NO.
We have in mind that we must say YES to preserve our relationships. The problem starts when you say YES to many people.
If you do, the only result you will get is that you will look bad with everyone and with yourself.
We all want to help, but we have limited time and resources, so it’s important to learn to say NO.
There is also the fact that we associate NO with something negative, and nobody wants to be the “bad guy.”
Fortunately, William Ury gives us a very practical strategy in his book The power of a positive NO.
William Ury is known for being the author of the book get a YES and also for co-founding the Harvard Negotiation Program. In addition, he is one of the world’s leading experts in negotiation and meditation.
William explains a simple method to learn how to say no in a positive way and get an excellent result:
How to say NO and win in business and life.
To learn how to say “NO” you must follow the following structure:
Let me explain…(at the end you will find an example)
1. The first YES, is the one you give to your priorities.
Only by recognizing what is truly important to you, will you be able to understand the situation and be objective.
Also, depending on this YES, you can correctly build a positive NO.
two. He does not, is that you give to the other person.
Above all, you must respect the other person. It is not about having deep respect, it is about the respect that you expect to be treated with.
(Remember that the objective of all this is to say NO, so that it does not feel negative)
3. the last YES, has an interrogative character.
And what you are looking for is to find a solution to the “problem” of the other person. In addition, it is vital to be able to cement a future relationship with that person.
recap. Above all you put your priorities. Then you explain that you can’t. And finally you find a solution.
Example in real life of how to say NO and win.
Your boss asks you to work over the weekend to finish a very important project. As it happens, that weekend you had already agreed to meet with your family and friends to share a while.
That same boss has been understanding with you when you need it and is the same one who is helping you get a promotion. How can you say no?
1. The first YES, is the one you give to your priorities.
“Boss, my family needs me on the weekends and I need to be with them”
(Here, you put your priorities above all… You let him know that he is making you choose between your work and your family)
two. He does not, is that you give to the other person.
“I have a commitment to them not to work on weekends”
(Here you say NO, by making it clear what your limit is… and with the first YES (the one you give to your priorities), this NO does not seem like a simple excuse. It is a NO that has a valid reason for being)
3. the last YES, It is interrogative and seeks a solution.
“I propose the following: Let’s find a way to get all the work done in the office to get the project done so I can be with my family over the weekend.”
(Here you give a what if?…This shows the other person that you are open to negotiation. She also tells him that you want to help him and that’s how you show him respect. In this way, help build a better relationship, but without committing to compromise on what is most important to you)
And remember, if you are really interested in creating your own business, you can read our book “How to create a company while working: Discover how to manage your time, manage your money and motivate yourself while creating a company and working for another” , where you will find all the information you need to found your own company, without having to leave your job.
