No matter which path you take, chances are you need to learn how to stand up for your opinion in front of a person who has more power than you.
The question is that on many occasions, either out of fear or out of respect; some people prefer to keep quiet.
Is it right not to defend your opinion?
If you are convinced that the person with power is one of those who never gives in and the only goal is to impose their decision; there is no point in wear. But if you go to a person who can be open to listen; you must risk.
Depending on the scenario, it is normal to feel our position at risk and for our non-verbal language to start screaming that we are afraid.
In addition, it is possible that we become filled with insecurity and our ideas move further and further away from what is truly important.
At that moment, the message that we want to give is going to be lost among all the messages that our body sends; resulting in a confusing message for the interlocutor.
Just think about it: why would a person with power listen to a person who seems unsure of what they are saying?
On a good day, our interlocutor will be able to understand our sensation; On a normal day, the person with power is going to feed her ego with our nerves and what we are saying will go into the background.
Joseph Grenny, is a speaker and co-founder of VitalSmarts. He is also the co-author of the best-seller titled Crucial Conversations: Tools for talking when the stakes are high (this book has sold more than 2 million copies and has been translated into 28 languages) and shares some tips that will turn that awkward moment into an opportunity.
How to defend your opinion?
1. Think about the risks of saying nothing.
There are apparently many incentives to remain silent:
- Keep the job.
- Get the loan.
- Maintain our image.
- Don’t make enemies.
- etc.
However, staying silent can also have consequences, and they can be even worse!
Analyze the risks and if you see that your position will also be affected by keeping silent, say what you think, but follow these recommendations:
2. Open the door to comment.
With open the door, Joseph Grenny refers to starting the conversation with the correct phrase. For example:
- “I have reasons to think that this is not going to work, and I would like to share them with you, do you agree?”
This is a clever way to give the person with power “psychological security” according to Grenny. And so, you already have the doors open for your opinion to be heard.
3. Connect with your needs.
We all have needs that eventually become weaknesses.
It is possible that what you have to say is aligned with the true desires of the person with more power.
so it is not enough to give a point of view, it is necessary to argue and awaken the need to listen to you; so that later I seriously consider your opinion.
4. Show that you know what you are talking about.
If your interlocutor realizes that you really know the subject, they will be more willing to listen to you and your opinions will be more valid.
We are not exempt from talking to people who are only interested in being right, but surely a good leader, who seeks the common good, will be interested in listening to you.
5. Be prudent.
Calm waters can stop being calm if you lose humility. Remember that you are giving an opinion that should be open to dialogue. Otherwise it will look like you are giving orders for them to execute, and the last thing you want is to lose the attention they are giving you.
Conclusion of how to defend your opinion.
The main thing is to understand that we do have the option to be heard. So it is important to know very well what we are going to say and do it intelligently to:
- Connect with the needs and emotions of other people.
- Start the conversation properly.
In addition, we must always be prudent and not lose humility.
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